Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Ooooohhhh Luxury

I am done focusing on finals. I am done talking about finals. Here are some things that are stupid:

During the holiday season, there is a drastic surge of crap-tastic and melodramatic tv commercials- namely jewelery and perfume commercials.

Why? Because nothing says 'i am so thankful that Christ came into human form on earth and was born under the most humble circumstances, so that we may be saved from our sin and transgressions' like buying an ugly necklace and a bottle 'a toilet water for your whiny wife.

I am just overwhelmed by all these commercials. I want to know if they actually work on people. When people see a 45 second clip of a female celebrity with a shawl on her head, spinning in a flower field or running down a staircase to jump on a motorcycle, are they actually thinking "this perfume will transport me to that flower field. That's gonna be me with the shawl on my head."?

I'll tell you what that perfume is gonna do for you. It's gonna make you 80 dollars shorter and smell like Dolly Parton's hairdresser. Ho Ho Ho.


 Britney Spears Perfume: Because you know your wife or girlfriend wants to smell like erratic behavior and the loss of parental custody. OHHHHHH LUXURY.

let's move on

Jewelery commercials. I have also never understood why crappy expensive jewelery is synonomous with REEEEALLLY loving your spouse. What, you get me a pendant that looks like a gold-dipped cornflake and I'm supposed to be glad about it?

                                               OOOOOOOHHHHHH LUXURY.

Here is the commercial that really set me off: i saw one the other day for Kay Jewlers. It involved this man coming up behind his wife who was rocking their baby. He said "Ohhhhhh whah whah whah our first Christmas as a family whah wah." Then he proceed to pull out a ring box and giver her this butt-ugly ring.
Babies. AIN'T . Cheap. If you JUST had a baby..the LAST thing you need to do is go out a drop all this cash on crappy depressing grandma jewelry. I hope you are prepared to let your baby wear that ring as a diaper. Or feed that ring to the baby as formula. Or use that ring as electricity, water, and heating in your home.

Too bad i have to live in the real world.

Merry Christmas.


1 comment:

  1. I especially enjoyed the ring as a multi-functioning device for an infant, and I need you to teach me how to center my banner/just help me with my layout.