Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Textbooks of doom.

 Day 2 of classes and I found myself without a single text book purchase made and really, really, needing to start working on doing homework.  You know, there are a ton of really great places on the web where you can get text books for cheap. I could have gone to any such sites over break, ordered textbooks for a fraction of the normal cost, and been a champion.

Unfortunately I was too busy over break helping Grandma make chex mix, listening to that 'wavin' flag' song from the worldcup on youtube, and making multiple trips to the Bath and Body Works yearly clearance sale to do such a petty task. Obviously I had no time during those three weeks for such an odious labor.

So i found myself in the OC book store, that last and cursed resort. It's like stepping into a depressing orphanage but instead of taking a sickly baby home  you buy a ton of overpriced text books you don't want. . It is a low and mournful place that sells tacky coffee mugs with angels on them for visiting parents and will try to charge you three bucks for an eraser.

Anyways..after getting my stack of books (the most books I have needed yet for school, mind you) I took my load to the felt like the march of death.

My breathing quickened, my pulse raced as the overly-enthusiastic checkout girl happily scanned each book like I was buying plane tickets to disneyland or a puppy.

Before I knew it..the scanning was over and the books were being placed in a bag. In her chipper little voice she said

"Well great! that's gonna be 430 dollars. Will you be paying by card?"

I was speechless. I could buy a kidney for that price. Heck, I could SELL a kidney for that price and pay for those blasted text books. I seriously thought i was going to puke all over the register and over her very nice and very shiny name-badge. I have never felt so desperate. I had a stream of crazy panicked ideas: 'maybe I'll scream 'fire!!!' and grab the books and run! Maybe....I'll knock over this stack of ugly license plate covers to create a diversion...then grab the books and run! Or maybe....I'll shine her shiny name-badge in her eyes to blind her temporarily......then i'll grab the books and run!!'

I didn't do any of those things.. But I did shake like crazy. She could barely get the card out of my hand...she literally pried my fingers away.  In a far away vault, my bank account wept.

Children, you must bear witness to this atrocity. Unless we learn from history we are doomed to repeat it. Unless we rent from or purchase gently used on amazon, we will continue to venture into the OC bookstore and be stripped of our hard-earned cash and also our humanity.

Bear witness, and remember.